My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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