Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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