I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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