I got chris browned last night
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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