Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
