Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
