Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
