you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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