So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Watching her eat just hurts me
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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