I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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