Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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