On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
