If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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