Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
