these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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