tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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