Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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