she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
