whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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