i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
