"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
