Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
