There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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