I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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