She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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