I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hippo gnu deer
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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