walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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