How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
