Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Two words: nipple clamps
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