Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
