I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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