Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
