I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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