new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
