I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
