Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
