She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
