somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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