you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
