butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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