K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just high enough for therapy.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
