porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
