did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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