Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
