I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize