sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize