I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
id be glad to
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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