Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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