i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
