my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
