Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
