my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i came on her dog
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
