areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
