Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
