420 ftw
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
