grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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