he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
