you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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